When the People You Love Get Away from You
My cousin, Wendy, Myself, & my lil "nousin" Kylee |
I worked a wedding this weekend. As a makeup artist I do
LOTS of weddings. Most of the time I’m paid to work my magic and then leave. On
occasion I’ve been asked to stick around until after the ceremony to touch up
makeup for photos. This weekend I was invited to stay for the whole party which
was cool because, as it turned out, I had an aunt and uncle plus 2 cousins and
their families in attendance. I’m sitting in my seat just before the ceremony
and see these two lovely strawberry blonde girls. They are sitting with my
cousin, Wendy, who is the mother of two baby girls. Well, apparently, those
babies are seven and nine years old. When did this happen?
The party was amazing and I had a great time with my
“nousins.” (Nousins are what I call my cousin’s kids. My cousins are more like
sisters and their kids are niece and nephew age so they are my nousins.) In
fact, I’ve determined that if I had a female child she would basically be
exactly like my nousin, Kylee. Watching Kylee dance and sing and constantly
request songs of the DJ was like a breath of fresh air. I’m not a “baby person”
per se, but kids are funny. I love their childlike faith and enthusiasm over
everything. All things are still new and fresh and fun. I feel so blessed to
have witnessed this in Kylee this weekend.
That night as I was laying in bed I thought of my sister.
I’d spoken to her over the phone that week for the first time in months. There
was a time in our young lives where we were out of touch for years. There was
also a time in our lives where I basically felt as if I had my own room in her
house because I was there so much. That room is now my actual nephew’s room and
I just sat and had a debate over how old he is with my husband. (I just texted
my sister so here’s hoping I’m right!) For the past few years I’ve only seen my
nephew, Parker, at his birthday parties. This isn’t what I wanted for our
relationship when I first heard my sister was pregnant with him.
As the night rolled on, so did the realizations. Young
cousins were in college, getting their license, and celebrating ten years of
marriage. Some had gotten re-married and I’d never met their husbands. Great
friends I met when I first moved to Raleigh and spent so much time with were
semi-strangers now. I could say “Hello” to them and congratulate them on their
new houses and jobs but I didn’t really know where said houses and jobs were.
If it weren’t for Facebook, I wouldn’t even know that stuff. That’s incredibly
sad…and shameful.
So I made a decision. I’m not going to let the lives of the
people I love pass me by. I’m not going to miss my nousin’s dancing and
singing. I’m not going to only see my nephew on occasion and he only know me by
name. I refuse to be that friend that is so touched by a life then loses all
touch with it. Yes, I know, people are busy. We are all so very busy. Many of
us are pretty far apart spatially as well. This is not an excuse. What good is
life and things if we let the people pass us by? Why have we made it ok so be
so busy and full of our own “stuff” that we let the people slip through our
hands? It’s so easy to tell ourselves that we can always “catch up with them
later” or that “they have their own lives and families and we don’t need to
bother them.” I’ve even heard people lament that they never hear from certain
people, etc. Well, I’ve learned an amazing feature on my mobile phone. It makes
outgoing calls too! (*holds up sarcasm sign) I’ve taken the attitude of “if I
don’t make the appointment to get together, they won’t.” Yes, I realize they
really want to hang out with me because I’m really awesome but they, too, may
feel as if they are” too busy” or that I’m “too busy” or they don’t want to
“bother me.” They may not even know about that cool “call out” feature on their
phones yet. Let me be clear: We need to get together. I don’t want to miss out
on Kylee’s dancing, Anna’s wedding, or
Parker’s hilarious country accent. So if you’ll excuse me, I need to
organize a movie night where some friends I haven’t spent time with in a while
and I get together for chocolate fondu and our favorite Bollywood movie, Bride
and Prejudice. Thank you so much, Anna. You helped me remember to appreciate
the people I love while we’re all still here. You are still so awesome.
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